Friday, July 12, 2013

Our Weekend Adventure

It began as a side mention.  It blossomed into one of the best weekends in memory.  It ends with a whispered prayer. "God, let me have at least one more weekend there, like that, before I'm to the edge with desire for salt and sand."  There are some stories best left to the ocean..kinda like Vegas.  What happens on the beach, stays on the beach!  The boyz and I had the car packed, the coolers loaded, and made it on the road only an hour later than I planned on Friday.  By 2:30, we were in Wilmington and beginning the transfer of our stuff into the truck.  A quick run to the grocery store while the first load of stuff, kids, dogs, and people were taken to the beach.  Back to the house for the second load of stuff and then it was my turn to go!  It's been many years since I've been on the beach in a truck and I forgot how awesome it feels.  Driving down the beach with dunes on your left, the ocean on the right.  A wave occasionally kissing the tires.  Most of the stuff was set up by the time I got there and the boyz and I jumped in and set up our tents.  The boyz set up pretty quickly and headed right back in the water while we popped tops and dropped into chairs.  I'd guess 5:00 is when we were finally situated...just in time to see the tide coming in, the sun beginning it's slow journey down, and grills all around being fired up.  


There is just something about the beach that makes hamburgers taste so much better.  Maybe it's the sand!  Angela and I took chairs down to the waters edge and watched the boyz play in the water.  Nic and AJ made "sand angels" and then turned them into silly faces.  Then began the handstand contest....Momma still wins those!  As it began to get dark, we dragged the chairs back up and lit the fire.  I should say, tried to light the fire.  It took awhile but it eventually was burning bright and warm.  Those moments of quiet, sitting next to a fire, hearing the ocean waves mixed with the sounds of a radio, wearing a bathing suit for pajamas, and listening to the conversations around me are times I will never forget.  I guess that doesn't make sense....but it does to me.  The quiet came from within me.  The peace that I had been seeking.  The fact that my soul was being soothed with every roll of a wave.  Every pop of the fire.  Every note from the radio.  Every giggle from my babies.  Every laugh from friends.  As I crawled into my tent sleepy and warm I realized I still had two more days.  What a wonderful feeling that was.  I fell asleep to the sound of rain drops on my tent, the breeze blowing, and the waves crashing.  The fact that I awoke soaking wet, freezing cold, and realizing it was 2 am and POURING rain into my tent was not as bad as it sounds.  I just rolled over, found a dry piece of blanket, and fell back to sleep.  As usual, I was awake shortly after 6 am and layed there listening to the rain continue.  I managed to stay there until 7 when I couldn't take wet clothes any longer.  I stayed up about an hour before giving up on the weather changing any time soon and went back to sleep until 10.  By that point I would have killed for a cup of coffee!  Instead, I was handed a beer.  As dark as coffee, almost as warm, and very good.  


By the time 11:00 rolled up, Angela, the boyz, and I were once again at waters edge.  This time we were on the other side of the park.  The boyz enjoyed finding shells, crabs, hermit crabs, and fish.  The sun was out and it was getting hot!  We stayed next to and in the water until almost 2 and then headed back to the campsite for lunch.  Again, grilled pork chops taste so much better on the beach!  Angela and Michael needed to run back to the house and the boyz and I were all sleepy.  All of us fell asleep in chairs around the fire pit...I think I was asleep before they left.  A 2 hour nap and then we were back in the water for the next few hours.  As we walked back to the campsite, Angela and I decided we needed s'mores.  Both of us covered in sand wearing shorts and bathing suits drove out to Food Lion.  It felt weird to be half dressed, no make up, and sand covering my feet walking into a grocery store....until I realized that's how half the other shoppers looked!  Of course Angela had to pee so I tagged along for the sheer pleasure of using a REAL bathroom.  This is the part where I should mention that I washed my legs and feet off in the sink...I'm so glad no one came in and caught us with our feet up under the dryer laughing like crazy!  On the drive back the only access road back onto the beach was beginning to flood with the tide coming in.  Then came the fun part....driving back across the beach while watching the sunset and the water creep closer.  I tell you....there is nothing like it.  We got back to find the guys struggling to build the fire.  Angela fixed it for them and we put shrimp on skewers and let them roast over the wood.  The first one I ate wasn't what I was looking for.  I took the next one, peeled it, sprayed it with butter, and roasted in the flames again.  That one...yeah, that one was GOOD!  Then came the fun part....s'mores.  I think Nic managed to eat four!  After everyone was sticky and full the boyz got very quiet.  The next thing I knew, they were gone.  I found them snoring in my tent!  Their tent flooded worse than mine the night before.  All their blankets and pillows were soaked along with the inside of the tent.  I figured the three of us would be fine sleeping in my tent for the night.  Boy was I wrong!  Next time I'll sleep on the sand. Or in a chair.  Or anywhere but inside a tent with two stinky, sweaty, snoring, mattress hogging, blanket stealing, boyz!!  I woke up on the floor of the tent, halfway outside the opening, with only a pillow and someones elbow in my back.  Blah!  I was the only one awake for about an hour and I sat watching the sunrise.  What a glorious morning.  The ocean and the sunrise....all that was missing was a cup of coffee.  By this morning, I was wishing and hoping for a cup!  Michael and Gabe were the first ones up.  AJ followed about 5 minutes later.  As I sat there trying to decide where to start with the packing, Micheal asked if I wanted coffee.  Without hesitation, I said yes!  He told me if I helped load up as much as we could in the truck, we could run it to the house and get coffee.  SOLD!  Yes, I sold my labor for a cup of coffee.  Don't judge me!  I had that truck packed and ready in 20 minutes.  It would have been faster except for trying to pack around sleeping people.  We headed out under a beautiful and sunny sky.  After unloading the truck at the house we hit Port City Java drive thru and headed back to the beach.  As we turned onto the access road to the beach, a few raindrops fell.  By the time the tires hit the beach it was thundering, lightening, and POURING!  I felt so bad for Angela and the boyz as we had left them to finish breaking up camp and getting everything ready to load up.  We pulled up to find cranky boyz (and Angela cause the boyz had been useless helping!) that looked like drowned rats.  My boyz had not even begun to pack up our other tent, which also happened to be the only thing I hadn't worked on because Nic was still sleeping when I left.  By the time I packed everything up and was breaking down the tent, the heavens had opened and I was soaked.  We no sooner put the last of the stuff in the truck when the rain stopped and the sun came back.  Dammit....isn't that the way it always goes?!  The drive home was off and on rain and I dropped the boyz back off with their Dad and was home by 2:30.  Just in time for it to rain pretty hard while I unpacked the car.  Again....Dammit!  I started the washer, washed the coolers, and headed for a shower.  I swear it took two scrubbings to get the sand out of my hair and I'm fairly sure the hot water heater is still trying to refill.  It was the most amazing weekend and I cannot wait to do it again!  Sand, sun burn, dead cell phones, beer for breakfast, sand in my burger, shrimp on a fire, rainy nights, good friends, good music, and most of all....the soothing of my soul, ocean front!


I know I'm behind in posting this.  I literally wrote it the day after we came back.  So very much has gone on since then but I can say one thing for sure....that weekend was the beginning of many things.  More than anything, the balm for my soul I had been craving.  As I write this final paragraph, I'm in the middle of preparations for Florida (a week from today....EEEP!) and thinking ahead to another camping weekend if possible.  

As always, a quote....   "Forget not that the Earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair."  Khalil Gibran  It is one of the most powerful quotes to me....Hmm, tat idea???

~trish

Friday, June 7, 2013

Dragonflies

Write it out...she says.  Ok, I can try to do that.  This one has been brewing since Sunday.  I've gone back to wearing my dragonfly necklace.  The huge charm that I bought at an airport kiosk three and a half years ago.  It's not where the dragonfly originated for me.....  It all started on a flea market trip a little over five years ago.  My sister and I went to the fairgrounds and walked around, "window" shopping, talking, and just getting out of the house.  It was maybe a few weeks after my husband and I separated and there was still internal struggle for me.  As we walked, we went by this jewelry booth.  Anyone who knows my sister, knows her "thing" is purses....this day, we were looking at sunglasses.  I remember spotting a gorgeous dragonfly necklace that had both dark and light blue gems.  As a Virgo, my birthstone is a sapphire and while I knew these gems were NOT even close to sapphires, it was beautiful.  The problem came from never wearing jewelry...not since I married at least.  Simple post earrings, a solid wedding band, and on occasion, a watch.  Jewelry was not a priority nor should it draw attention.  Let's leave it at that....  I showed April, tried it on, and put it back.  In my mind, it was a very large, noticeable, and I couldn't justify the expense.  I don't think I had ever worn anything more than a simple chain at that point.  I was 29 years old, newly single, and terrified of drawing attention to myself.  Sounds funny to those who know me now doesn't it?!?  I ended up buying it.  As silly as it sounds, it was the most difficult purchase I've ever made.  It's symbolism went far beyond the dragonfly.  I wore it daily until the chain broke.  It came from the flea market after all.  I bought a new chain as soon as I could because I literally felt lost without it.  After 2 years, the tail of the dragonfly broke off.  It was walking through the airport in Florida that I spotted the one I now wear.  They didn't have a blue one, just a pink one.  I bought it and wore it faithfully until over a year ago when I was given a smaller, more delicate one.  Recently, I've been wearing an angel heart.  Sunday, I decided I needed the strength my dragonfly gives me.  It's heavy actually....and comforting.

I've done a bit of reading...about dragonflies. For me, it symbolizes strength, independence, beauty, and flexibility.  It's also most often found near the water...like me!  One of the articles I read says that in almost every part of the world, the dragonfly symbolizes change and change in the perspective of self realization.  The fact that they are found near water, skimming the surface, represents the act of going beyond what is seen on the surface and looking at the deeper implications of life.  There have been dinosaur dragonfly fossils found proving that they have been around for 300 million years.  For a species that lives anywhere from six months to six years and spends most of it's life as a nymph, this is amazing to me!  As an adult dragonfly, they usually only live an average of two months.  That is long enough for them to mate.  There are legends, myths, stories, and horror stories about these creatures.  Then again, depending on who you talk to, you will get all those same things about people too.

Now that I've gone...on and on about this subject, it is time to go accomplish some important things.  Change, it's the only constant in life.  Well, that and taxes.  I'm heading up the stairs to iron Nic's shirt.  Tonight is 8th grade graduation and it's a family affair.  All dressed up and ready to shine...in about an hour.  Change, my oldest boy heading to high school.  Change,my youngest boy heading to middle school.  That's right....AJ did it!  He is officially going to be a 6th grader in the fall.  He rocked the EOG's and the decision was made to promote him!  Rock on my babies....your whole life is ahead of you and your Momma is your BIGGEST cheerleader!

I normally close...with a quote or a lyric.  Tonight there is enough anticipation in the house that I can't think clear enough to think of what I want.  I'm going to end without one...which means that this is not the end.  Only the beginning.  <3

Saturday, June 1, 2013

Finding the Peace Within

Ever had those moments... where your hands just hover over the keyboard, feeling like there are words you need to get down, but not knowing where to start?  Not knowing if there is anywhere to start.  Knowing for sure that there is not an end at the moment.  That is me lately....so unsure of anything and everything.  It's the worst feeling in the world.  The only saving grace is that I am constantly reminded of how strong I am.  All I have to do is take a look at my life, my children,and I am reminded.  In the moments I forget, I have some of the most amazing friends and family a girl could ask for.  When I begin to feel like I can no longer put one foot in front of the other, a simple phone call or text lifts me back up again.  I have found a peace within that I didn't know existed.  It gets crushed, on occasion, by the pressing things going on around me....then resurfaces and I feel a glow within that has no explanation.  My music always reflects my mood.  When I'm stressed, it's loud and dirty.  When I'm peaceful, it's sweet, melodic, and soothing.  Today, I'm going with the soothing.  I have found a new artist....with Baby Girl's help of course.  His music is right up my avenue.  Soft, thoughtful, and meaningful.  It's the words of my soul....music lyrics are my scripture.

As I predicted...this post is just ramblings. The scrambled thoughts of someone struggling within.  I will find it again...that which my heart and soul crave.  I always do.  It's the little things.  Watching Lily wave "Hi" as her Nana taught her.  Installing a ceiling fan all by myself...using power tools!  Hearing a song that makes my heart sing and my soul sigh.  Those are the moments that we remember in the darkest times.  Those are the memories that will sustain you when you can't find the light.  I just have to keep reminding myself that the light must come from within.  When it does, it shines so bright that others are warmed by it.  Indeed!


I usually close...with a quote.  This time, I think I will close with lyrics instead.  I think it is more fitting, given the content of the blog.  "Yeah I've been feeling everything, from hate to love, from love to lust, from lust to truth, I guess that's how I know you, So I hold you close to help you give it up."

~trish