Saturday, June 1, 2013

Finding the Peace Within

Ever had those moments... where your hands just hover over the keyboard, feeling like there are words you need to get down, but not knowing where to start?  Not knowing if there is anywhere to start.  Knowing for sure that there is not an end at the moment.  That is me lately....so unsure of anything and everything.  It's the worst feeling in the world.  The only saving grace is that I am constantly reminded of how strong I am.  All I have to do is take a look at my life, my children,and I am reminded.  In the moments I forget, I have some of the most amazing friends and family a girl could ask for.  When I begin to feel like I can no longer put one foot in front of the other, a simple phone call or text lifts me back up again.  I have found a peace within that I didn't know existed.  It gets crushed, on occasion, by the pressing things going on around me....then resurfaces and I feel a glow within that has no explanation.  My music always reflects my mood.  When I'm stressed, it's loud and dirty.  When I'm peaceful, it's sweet, melodic, and soothing.  Today, I'm going with the soothing.  I have found a new artist....with Baby Girl's help of course.  His music is right up my avenue.  Soft, thoughtful, and meaningful.  It's the words of my soul....music lyrics are my scripture.

As I predicted...this post is just ramblings. The scrambled thoughts of someone struggling within.  I will find it again...that which my heart and soul crave.  I always do.  It's the little things.  Watching Lily wave "Hi" as her Nana taught her.  Installing a ceiling fan all by myself...using power tools!  Hearing a song that makes my heart sing and my soul sigh.  Those are the moments that we remember in the darkest times.  Those are the memories that will sustain you when you can't find the light.  I just have to keep reminding myself that the light must come from within.  When it does, it shines so bright that others are warmed by it.  Indeed!


I usually close...with a quote.  This time, I think I will close with lyrics instead.  I think it is more fitting, given the content of the blog.  "Yeah I've been feeling everything, from hate to love, from love to lust, from lust to truth, I guess that's how I know you, So I hold you close to help you give it up."

~trish

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